Well, I gave you an update on Saturday as to our prayer request for God to approve the school loan for Ian, now it’s time to let you know how I made out…
Today is Monday and I promised to update you on my prayer request for God to bless me with the job I interviewed for on Wednesday and I received word today that they decided to hire someone else.
I learned about this via email a few hours ago, and I was not able until now, to share this news with you. I was/am so terribly disappointed and my heart was/is so full of sorrow, even though my head kept/keeps telling me that God is in control. Actually, it is all I hear in my mind, the words to the song by Twila Paris keep playing in a constant loop, “God is control”, over and over and over again. This however is a good thing, it gets my focus off me and onto Him.
I let myself cry and cry hard for a few minutes to mourn the loss of a job that I wanted so badly, need so badly. I questioned God and told Him how I feel, and even with all my groaning, told Him that I know no matter how I felt, I knew He was with me, wants the best for me and has something better in mind for me.
Part of me is sad, because it seems as though for all my years of hard work with my former employer, and for all the knowledge and skills I have to offer, no one out there recognizes what a great addition to their company I would be. I have sent my resume out hundreds of times over the past year with barely a nibble, each time telling myself that God has something better for me.
I am also trying my best not to get into a spirit of worry and fear over our finances which continue to sink us deeper and deeper into debt and getting a job would help tremendously in this area, not to mention all the other ways it would benefit us.
Please continue to keep me in prayer, I need God’s grace and mercy to keep me from shutting everything out, turning inward and from falling into a “woe is me” sand-trap.
Thank you all so very very much for your words of encouragement, your prayers and your friendship. May God richly bless you and open the windows of heaven and pour you out a blessing overflowing to those around you.